


It's All Wrong

by creatingHeart



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, definitely angst, implied suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 22:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatingHeart/pseuds/creatingHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything was wrong about this.<br/>Everything.<br/>Because here he was, a boy in love with another. Someone who would never love him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> WOW OKAY so I have no idea where this came from, probably HOH feels coming to kick me. I JUST NEED TO VENT ABOUT MY FEELINGS OKAY?? It's set during HOH, kind of like some peek into Nico's life that you'd never know? Yeah I'm not really sure either. 
> 
> Please be gentle with me, it's my first fanfic on AO3 (not that I haven't habitually stalked AO3 and read countless amazing fanfictions) but still!

Everything was wrong about this.

Everything.

Because here he was, a boy in love with another. Someone who would never love him back. Nico was a child lost to time. Four years in the present can’t change the ten years in the past. And he hated himself with a vehement, burning passion. He hated the fact that the smile of that damn boy caused his breath to catch in his throat, his feeble heart to pound harder. He hated that he wanted to feel arms, his arms, around him, to breathe in warm salty air. He hated that he was in love with Percy. Not because Percy was a bad person; no, he was rather the opposite – perfect, heroic, and loyal to a fault, always warm and open and never looking at Nico with more than a brother’s gaze. Because he knew how lucky Annabeth was to have Percy’s love, and he hated himself for wanting to steal that from her.  
Most of all, he hated himself for climbing out of his bunk at 2 am every night and crawling into Percy’s, pretending he had a right to curl up in the ice cold sheets and envelop himself in what wasn’t his. He hated that he was a fool in love with someone who would never love him back the way he wanted him to. Because, gods curse him, he was alone, and Percy had been his first lifeline, his first hero.

Nico felt his fist cry out in pain as it ripped through the mirror. He didn’t worry about the blood running down his wrist, nor did he worry about the tears slipping through his tired eyes and down his pale face. He looked like death, felt like death. And now, maybe death would be enough to numb this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Yet, deep inside of him, Nico knew that wouldn’t be enough. He didn’t have to be a son of Hades to know that.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.  
> JUST FOR CLARITY: my headcanon Nico is just totally dead inside. He somehow keeps fighting, but he's got to let out all that angst somehow. BUT HE DID NOT KILL HIMSELF. He might want to (after all, he's been through Tartarus, and if that doesn't make you want to kill yourself I don't know what would), but he doesn't.
> 
> I ship Percabeth a lot a lot, so I couldn't bear to make it requited, also it fits better in my head and makes so much sense for Nico's crush to be unrequited ahhhh I don't really know what I'm doing I'm sorry D:


End file.
